It has been suggested that having Jews live in the Middle East is an astoundingly bad idea. Since we came here, there has been only strife and we obviously are the cause of it all. We should have stayed away and let the sleeping desert lie. There is no oil here ... there is no gold ... what were those Zionists thinking? Were they challenged by the idea of building a country in one of the most inhospitable places on earth? Ancient historical claims aside, was there no better plot of land to set up shop? Did those poor souls escaping from Europe deserve to leave one war zone, only to arrive in another?
So what are we to do? Shall we move? If we could arrange a good deal with our local neighbours for every resident of Israel to get a million dollars - would we move? How would you get any of them to stay, is the real question? Ideally, we could all go buy some small country somewhere quiet (without Arab neigbours) and transform somewhere else into the R&D capital of the world. We could buy some small African game farm next to the Sahara, turn it into farms and grow watermelons and sunflowers. We must ensure the garrinim supply at all costs or I'm not going.
Imagine if Israeli's were not suppressed by the emotional and economic costs of wars and trying to survive .. what they could have achieved. Every tank that they had to build - could have funded another school. Every F16 they had to buy ... could have turned another 1000 square kilometers of desert green. Israel would have been exporting wood and feeding our starving neighbours luscious tropical home-grown fruit. Dream on!
There is an important lesson in this strange tale. What if you were offered a million bucks? Would you go? Would you give up on this piece of desert and not look back? I think not. Although this country was built by a different breed of Jew, toughened by a cruel world, it still holds an unmeasurable value. We Jews place value on education. We place value on learning from history. No-one wanted us when we needed it most and we shall never forget that. At a chaotic time in history when everyone was recovering from a war - we took the initiative and made this piece of land our home. We have not been lazy. In 60 years we've transformed it into a thriving hub of ingenious complexity with an annual 100 billion dollar economy - a model to every other nation on the planet. It's ours. We're staying. Get used to it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
The secret to being a happy anglo in Israel
OK - so you move to Israel and the adjustment begins. For almost every anglo I have met, Israel is a shock on multiple levels. Being a fellow Jew does not help when someone is shouting at you over the counter because you cannot remember the Hebrew word for grated cheese. But remember, he is not shouting 'at' you .. he is shouting 'with' you. Is it his fault that you have not learned to shout and express yourself like everyone else? This is a frightening experience for all new arrivals, but its part of the experience that eventually moulds us all into proper Israelis.
Once in Israel you need to suppress your anglo instinct to apologize to everyone. No one expects it. That sort of behaviour is just an indication of your inability to adjust to your surroundings.
The secret to being a happy anglo in Israel can be found in having two well defined and seperate personalities. You need to train yourself to become selectively schizophrenic. You are already a well mannered anglo and can handle yourself in most anglo cultural scenarios like smiling when you greet people, queuing quietly to get on a bus, driving like you care etc. etc. Lets call this your anglo personality (AP). All you need now, is to develop an Israeli personality (IP) to deal with everyday life in your new home.
An IP is a simply a behavioural shield for dealing with the new surroundings. Using your AP in a hostile environment can be very damaging. Your AP can even be permanently affected if exposed to excessive emotional abuse and confusion. It is for this reason that we each need to develop our own IP's.
The key to developing your IP is mimicry. You must observe everything that goes on around you. How do the locals behave? Did he say thank you? Did he smile? Will the attendant help you when you walk into the shop? How do others get attention while you seem to be invisible? All these everyday events need to be noticed and noted. As soon as you have watched things for long enough, it is time to being utilizing your IP. Hebrew will help with clarifying things, but don't worry, almost everyone in Israel speaks English and if they don't ... well, its time they learnt.
So now you are ready to begin. Whenever you feel threatened, out of touch or simply do not understand, adopt your IP. The easiest way to do this, is to behave like everyone else. If they are shouting, you shout. If they push, you push. If they ignore you, you ignore them. With practice you IP will develop its own character. Your IP is a self-made shield for your AP and with time your AP will learn to express itself through your IP. In the beginning, you need to learn to make the switch. The ability to switch between AP and IP is crucial to maintaining a healthy balanced Israeli lifestyle. For beginners, the IP can feel very foreign and out of control, but persevere and your AP will thank you. A strange relationship between your AP and your IP is just a fact of life. You will just have to get used to the fact that your IP does not seem to care about your AP, and that your AP instinctively persists in apologizing to your IP. Don't worry, its perfectly normal.
Remember that you are in control. You can switch off your IP at any time and be AP. Erratic behaviour is fairly normal in Israel so your personality change will probably not be noticed. If anyone confronts you, you can simply reactivate your IP until it is safe to revert to your AP.
After a while it gets easier. Make a mental note not too spend too much time in your IP or your AP will begin to lose strength. Your IP will become an essential everyday tool for dealing with your new surroundings but it will take time to refine. This is more about the journey than the destination. Do not adopt your IP when in the company of fellow AP's as you are likely to scare them and lose friends.
Now that the secret of the IP is out, I hope to see a lot more people working on their IP's so that their AP's don't get faded and warped. There is nothing worse that seeing a person who has lost control of their IP. Many an AP has been ruined by undisciplined IP's.
As you bravely venture out to begin experimenting with your own IP, remember the proud words of our ancestors during the years of the British Empire - 'Once an AP, always an AP'.
Once in Israel you need to suppress your anglo instinct to apologize to everyone. No one expects it. That sort of behaviour is just an indication of your inability to adjust to your surroundings.
The secret to being a happy anglo in Israel can be found in having two well defined and seperate personalities. You need to train yourself to become selectively schizophrenic. You are already a well mannered anglo and can handle yourself in most anglo cultural scenarios like smiling when you greet people, queuing quietly to get on a bus, driving like you care etc. etc. Lets call this your anglo personality (AP). All you need now, is to develop an Israeli personality (IP) to deal with everyday life in your new home.
An IP is a simply a behavioural shield for dealing with the new surroundings. Using your AP in a hostile environment can be very damaging. Your AP can even be permanently affected if exposed to excessive emotional abuse and confusion. It is for this reason that we each need to develop our own IP's.
The key to developing your IP is mimicry. You must observe everything that goes on around you. How do the locals behave? Did he say thank you? Did he smile? Will the attendant help you when you walk into the shop? How do others get attention while you seem to be invisible? All these everyday events need to be noticed and noted. As soon as you have watched things for long enough, it is time to being utilizing your IP. Hebrew will help with clarifying things, but don't worry, almost everyone in Israel speaks English and if they don't ... well, its time they learnt.
So now you are ready to begin. Whenever you feel threatened, out of touch or simply do not understand, adopt your IP. The easiest way to do this, is to behave like everyone else. If they are shouting, you shout. If they push, you push. If they ignore you, you ignore them. With practice you IP will develop its own character. Your IP is a self-made shield for your AP and with time your AP will learn to express itself through your IP. In the beginning, you need to learn to make the switch. The ability to switch between AP and IP is crucial to maintaining a healthy balanced Israeli lifestyle. For beginners, the IP can feel very foreign and out of control, but persevere and your AP will thank you. A strange relationship between your AP and your IP is just a fact of life. You will just have to get used to the fact that your IP does not seem to care about your AP, and that your AP instinctively persists in apologizing to your IP. Don't worry, its perfectly normal.
Remember that you are in control. You can switch off your IP at any time and be AP. Erratic behaviour is fairly normal in Israel so your personality change will probably not be noticed. If anyone confronts you, you can simply reactivate your IP until it is safe to revert to your AP.
After a while it gets easier. Make a mental note not too spend too much time in your IP or your AP will begin to lose strength. Your IP will become an essential everyday tool for dealing with your new surroundings but it will take time to refine. This is more about the journey than the destination. Do not adopt your IP when in the company of fellow AP's as you are likely to scare them and lose friends.
Now that the secret of the IP is out, I hope to see a lot more people working on their IP's so that their AP's don't get faded and warped. There is nothing worse that seeing a person who has lost control of their IP. Many an AP has been ruined by undisciplined IP's.
As you bravely venture out to begin experimenting with your own IP, remember the proud words of our ancestors during the years of the British Empire - 'Once an AP, always an AP'.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Mini golf in a war zone?
Life in Israel is full of ups and downs just like anywhere else on our planet. The ups may be the same, but the downs are really scary! Conflict is unfortunately a regular feature around here, but I watch it on the news very much like the rest of the world. There can be missiles coming and going in Gaza and I can be stuck in rush hour traffic 80 kilometers away. My boss would not accept that as a good enough reason to miss work - if it was, I imagine Israelis would be home a lot more! We listen to the news all the time, but we do it work.
My dream is to open a mini golf park in Israel. Can you imagine anything more peaceful than playing mini golf? How many wars have been caused by mini golf rivalries? How many people get clubbed to death every year with a putter? Its just a simple family venue where anyone can come to putt a ball around a pretty course. It's a simple little business right? Not in Israel.
Last month I was talking to investors and getting the ball rolling, so to speak. Just another entrepeneur trying to get his dream afloat. This month the situation has changed so dramatically, that most people (outside of Israel) who hear about what I am trying to do .. think I am totally mad! He's trying to open a mini golf park in Israel? Mini golf in a war zone? He's looking for investors? He must be mad.
Unless you have actually lived in Israel - it is very difficult to explain how things work here, but lets have a try. Israel has been exposed to bombs and attacks for years and has naturally developed systems to deal with each of them. When there is a suicide bombing, there is a rapid response to rescue lives, then the investigators gather evidence, then the clean-up crew collect every speck of human remains they can find (no fire hoses used here), then the construction crews move in. A shop destroyed in a suicide bomb, can be reopened and operating within a month. That may seem cold and ruthless, but from experience it seems the best way to deal with it.
So back to my little dream of a mini golf park. The missiles will stop eventually. They always do. And then I will build my mini golf park and the families will come and play. They will forget about the last war and not think about the next one, because all their energy will be focused on getting a silly little ball into a silly little hole.
Many think I may have lost the plot altogether? There is a war on at present in Gaza .. yet I am sitting here in Israel dreaming about mini golf. I am dreaming of a time when families in Gaza and Israel can come and putt a little ball into an insignificant little hole play in the peaceful
My dream is to open a mini golf park in Israel. Can you imagine anything more peaceful than playing mini golf? How many wars have been caused by mini golf rivalries? How many people get clubbed to death every year with a putter? Its just a simple family venue where anyone can come to putt a ball around a pretty course. It's a simple little business right? Not in Israel.
Last month I was talking to investors and getting the ball rolling, so to speak. Just another entrepeneur trying to get his dream afloat. This month the situation has changed so dramatically, that most people (outside of Israel) who hear about what I am trying to do .. think I am totally mad! He's trying to open a mini golf park in Israel? Mini golf in a war zone? He's looking for investors? He must be mad.
Unless you have actually lived in Israel - it is very difficult to explain how things work here, but lets have a try. Israel has been exposed to bombs and attacks for years and has naturally developed systems to deal with each of them. When there is a suicide bombing, there is a rapid response to rescue lives, then the investigators gather evidence, then the clean-up crew collect every speck of human remains they can find (no fire hoses used here), then the construction crews move in. A shop destroyed in a suicide bomb, can be reopened and operating within a month. That may seem cold and ruthless, but from experience it seems the best way to deal with it.
So back to my little dream of a mini golf park. The missiles will stop eventually. They always do. And then I will build my mini golf park and the families will come and play. They will forget about the last war and not think about the next one, because all their energy will be focused on getting a silly little ball into a silly little hole.
Many think I may have lost the plot altogether? There is a war on at present in Gaza .. yet I am sitting here in Israel dreaming about mini golf. I am dreaming of a time when families in Gaza and Israel can come and putt a little ball into an insignificant little hole play in the peaceful
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